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L'avis des consommateurs
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Father-Son Incest
Walter de Milly gives a voice to male survivors of incest. His story is compelling and highly informative of the experience of father-son incest. He has shown great courage.
His descriptions vividly illustrate the experience of dissociation and splitting. This book has given me the clearest understanding of multiple personality disorder. Through memories he explains the psyche of his father (which is very disturbing), and how his father maintained control over him and secrecy over the incest. We also learn about the culture he grew up in through the reactions to his homosexuality, the keeping of secrets for the purpose of upholding social images, and the belief that incest is a fantasy and not a reality.
The reaction of his parents and psychiatrist to his homosexuality and emerging incest memories is heart breaking. He deserved so much more than how he was treated and misunderstood. The difficulties of dealing with incest compounded by the discovery of his homosexuality (being different, having crushes in high school), and then to be misunderstood and put through therapies to make him heterosexual, while his father (a pedophile) was praised as a great man.
Throughout the entire book we catch glimmers of hope, and ultimately he is able to end the secrecy and to triumph. He reclaims himself from the lies and abuse. I even began to feel compassion towards his father. He was a sick man, and he was not able to fully face the truth of what he had done before his death (though he never denied that he abused his son or the other boys). The treatment he received disturbed me. I wish there had been a way for everyone in the family to receive better psychotherapy.
Walter de Milly writes beautifully. I loved reading about his connections to other people, and especially his friendship with Wallace.
